What happens when arriving to the goal you prayed to achieve, isn't actually the goal you wanted?
We had just posted our big exciting news to social media- an adorable toddler and his beloved cow packed up and we were headed to Denver- the land of glamorous outdoorsy things!
But there it was, that twinge of doubt that slowly grew over time.
I had an incredible life from all of the checkboxes of success for 30-somethings. Successful and advancing corporate career (with a healthy salary) A good marriage and perhaps the cutest toddler on this side of the Red River. But why was my soul so unsettled?
I continued to drown the noise out as realtors and moving companies came to assess all the steps needed for us to begin this great adventure. I had already scheduled family photos in the mountains because.. hello #goals
And yet at 7 am while doing the dishes I started sobbing.
I ran to our bedroom to wake up a very understanding Mike (😉)
and told him something just didn’t feel right, and we couldn’t go.
But.. I had just told every single person I knew that we were on to a new adventure.
I continued to lean on my all-time favorite verse Philippians 4:13
“I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.”
He’s got this.
He wouldn’t open this door if it wasn’t the door I was supposed to go through right?
But after 34 years on earth, I can confidently say I never took the time to read the verse that comes just before that favorite verse of mine. That verse gave me the courage to rock interviews, to finally break up with bad boyfriends, to say the hard thing, I was seeking strength and so I knew and trusted that God was going to get me there.
But… (I mean you knew there was a but coming right?)
Philippians 4:12 says: “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”
Hmm… but can’t I just fast forward to the “he gives me strength to accomplish what I want part?” Not so fast.
The second Mike and I decided that I needed to resign from my high-paying, best-in-class benefits role that filled my own little ego cup more than I’d care to imagine- there was new air in our household that hadn’t been there for months.
Who knew- that God could have given me a greater peace and joy by walking away from everything I had fought my whole life to get? It was my moment where Matthew 16:26 came to life: “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?”
I felt like I got my soul back. and my life.
By casting aside all that I once held so so tightly to.
Over the next 5 months (and even continuing now..)
I walked (a lot)
I prayed and journaled (no surprise- writing is the way I process)
I re-invested in relationships that were life-giving
I decided that to live the life that God wanted for me, I had to cast aside the parts of life that I wanted social media and (people I hardly know) to think I had.
I’d love to tell you there were zero scary times, I’d love to tell you there were times that I ducked down an aisle to avoid explaining my “Jodi Sabbatical” to someone who I know wouldn’t quite get my choices.
But I’ve never been more confident in what God has in store for me.
I’ve never trusted or felt closer to him more.
And I honestly can't wait to see what He has planned around the corner.
My hope through Styled with Strength we are able to create a space together where it gets a little exciting to say the big-scary thing out-loud, to confidently cheer each other on while we accomplish big and small goals personally and professionally.
Don’t worry, I’ll continue to say the hard things here with you (each month maybe? Let’s not get too crazy) but I hope that if you wandered onto this page and have read this far down…