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So She Didn't Card

So She Didn't Card

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family dinner is officially back in action!

so many full hearts and tummies in this little life we’re building together ♥️
#shessafehere

family dinner is officially back in action!

so many full hearts and tummies in this little life we’re building together ♥️
#shessafehere

100% biased but we are convinced it’s the best girl gang out there ♥️

#shessafehere

100% biased but we are convinced it’s the best girl gang out there ♥️

#shessafehere

It seems unfathomable that Jaelyn lost her life at only 14 due to Domestic Violence at the hands of a former boyfriend.

We have a problem Fargo, and we sure hope you’re ready to fight alongside us.

#SheShouldHaveBeenSafeHere #justiceforjaelyn

It seems unfathomable that Jaelyn lost her life at only 14 due to Domestic Violence at the hands of a former boyfriend.

We have a problem Fargo, and we sure hope you’re ready to fight alongside us.

#SheShouldHaveBeenSafeHere #justiceforjaelyn

This week:

We learned that Jenny is an absolute beast on the weed whacker ✅
we may have cut our landscape fabric with kids scissors that were found in Sara’s car ✅
Taylor had a crash course in driving a monster truck ✅

but the best part you ask us?

Seeing this incredible team of fierce, busy, and strong women come together on behalf one of our amazing SWS families? PURE MAGIC!

Thank you SO much to the Youth & Family Services Team at South-East Human Service Center for your time, love, and sheer lawn work bad-assery on Wednesday!

You are helping us to stand for safety while you continue to heal, grow, and enrich families throughout Cass County everyday!

#sheshouldhavebeensafehere #styledwithstrength

This week:

We learned that Jenny is an absolute beast on the weed whacker ✅
we may have cut our landscape fabric with kids scissors that were found in Sara’s car ✅
Taylor had a crash course in driving a monster truck ✅

but the best part you ask us?

Seeing this incredible team of fierce, busy, and strong women come together on behalf one of our amazing SWS families? PURE MAGIC!

Thank you SO much to the Youth & Family Services Team at South-East Human Service Center for your time, love, and sheer lawn work bad-assery on Wednesday!

You are helping us to stand for safety while you continue to heal, grow, and enrich families throughout Cass County everyday!

#sheshouldhavebeensafehere #styledwithstrength

Happy Father’s Day to the hard working, strong, and most of all- the safe Dad’s out there 🤍

You are helping to raise kind and courageous young boys who navigate and understand that true strength comes from genuine care, creating safe places, and protecting those in need.

-Styled with Strength

Happy Father’s Day to the hard working, strong, and most of all- the safe Dad’s out there 🤍

You are helping to raise kind and courageous young boys who navigate and understand that true strength comes from genuine care, creating safe places, and protecting those in need.

-Styled with Strength

sisterhood
is like a growing vine,
it persistently seeks out the light
and keeps us connected 🤍

sisterhood
is like a growing vine,
it persistently seeks out the light
and keeps us connected 🤍

These sweet s-e-e-s-t-e-r’s sure made us feel special our our May Family Dinner!

homemade daquiri’s, ice cream cone cupcakes, and so much food and love than we could ever imagine!!

Thank you to the Stibal Sister Squad for your heart for the mission of Styled with Strength!

These sweet s-e-e-s-t-e-r’s sure made us feel special our our May Family Dinner!

homemade daquiri’s, ice cream cone cupcakes, and so much food and love than we could ever imagine!!

Thank you to the Stibal Sister Squad for your heart for the mission of Styled with Strength!

We are so grateful to this incredible crew from @prairieheights who brought their families together tonight in service! They created beautiful new client welcome baskets, and fun summer baskets for current SWS families!!! 🅣🅗🅐🅝🅚 🅨🅞🅤!

#SheShouldBeSafeHere #SWSFamily

We are so grateful to this incredible crew from @prairieheights who brought their families together tonight in service! They created beautiful new client welcome baskets, and fun summer baskets for current SWS families!!! 🅣🅗🅐🅝🅚 🅨🅞🅤!

#SheShouldBeSafeHere #SWSFamily

In an environment that every reaction, explosion, or moment that he takes it too far…

Does not happen because of 🅐🅝🅨🅣🅗🅘🅝🅖 you did.

In an environment that every reaction, explosion, or moment that he takes it too far…

Does not happen because of 🅐🅝🅨🅣🅗🅘🅝🅖 you did.

I remember when I walked in the door that Christmas Eve, I had driven through a snowstorm trying to read my Mapquest (•••just dated myself) and also keep my Red Pontiac Sunfire on the road.

His mom was at the door, with an extra long squeeze and a whisper in my ear: “this is going to make him so much better, thank you for coming.”

That is something I already knew.

•I knew me driving all night and lying to my family about where I was going would make it better.
•I knew the fact that days before I had caught him messaging another girl but because I got to spend Christmas with his family would mean that “I won”
•I knew I would be on pins and needles while his family breathed easier and enjoyed the holiday.

Because I would carry the weight.

Every side-eye, trying to navigate his body language, “is that a real laugh or a fake one?” “Why does he keep texting?”

When an abusive person has a single target, the person’s presence does make the room a little bit lighter, but the room is also closing in on them.

So if your body is still wound tightly from enduring another holiday by saving the one person who’s hurting you,

We see you.
We love you.
We get it.
and we hope you know we are here when you’re ready for another path.

-team styled with strength

I remember when I walked in the door that Christmas Eve, I had driven through a snowstorm trying to read my Mapquest (•••just dated myself) and also keep my Red Pontiac Sunfire on the road.

His mom was at the door, with an extra long squeeze and a whisper in my ear: “this is going to make him so much better, thank you for coming.”

That is something I already knew.

•I knew me driving all night and lying to my family about where I was going would make it better.
•I knew the fact that days before I had caught him messaging another girl but because I got to spend Christmas with his family would mean that “I won”
•I knew I would be on pins and needles while his family breathed easier and enjoyed the holiday.

Because I would carry the weight.

Every side-eye, trying to navigate his body language, “is that a real laugh or a fake one?” “Why does he keep texting?”

When an abusive person has a single target, the person’s presence does make the room a little bit lighter, but the room is also closing in on them.

So if your body is still wound tightly from enduring another holiday by saving the one person who’s hurting you,

We see you.
We love you.
We get it.
and we hope you know we are here when you’re ready for another path.

-team styled with strength

When one thinks of domestic violence, the Google image search doesn’t do us much favors does it?

The darkened shadowed images with mascara running down her bruised face…The scary fist lurking in the corner..

Styled with Strength hopes to break the narrative of the public’s perception of what someone experiencing abuse looks like.

Because who you think it is, couldn’t be further from what she actually looks like:

•She could be the friend that just got promoted.
•The one who can eat terrible food and still be a size zero. (A constant physical state of stress is doing the work)
•The one who always appears to have it all together.
•The one who always remembers your birthday.
•The friend that’s the first to ask you how YOU are doing.
•The friend that seems to have the perfect kids.
•The friend with the carefully curated Instagram feed and the picture perfect holiday photos.

Perhaps could we say that Domestic Violence isn’t hiding in the shadows, it’s standing right in front of us, demonstrating courage, resiliency, and a grit that goes beyond measure.

She could be the perfect friend.
Let’s shift our focus and begin to see and stand with her too ♥️

When one thinks of domestic violence, the Google image search doesn’t do us much favors does it?

The darkened shadowed images with mascara running down her bruised face…The scary fist lurking in the corner..

Styled with Strength hopes to break the narrative of the public’s perception of what someone experiencing abuse looks like.

Because who you think it is, couldn’t be further from what she actually looks like:

•She could be the friend that just got promoted.
•The one who can eat terrible food and still be a size zero. (A constant physical state of stress is doing the work)
•The one who always appears to have it all together.
•The one who always remembers your birthday.
•The friend that’s the first to ask you how YOU are doing.
•The friend that seems to have the perfect kids.
•The friend with the carefully curated Instagram feed and the picture perfect holiday photos.

Perhaps could we say that Domestic Violence isn’t hiding in the shadows, it’s standing right in front of us, demonstrating courage, resiliency, and a grit that goes beyond measure.

She could be the perfect friend.
Let’s shift our focus and begin to see and stand with her too ♥️

We are extremely grateful for the unwavering support that local police departments have in response to domestic violence in the F/M area.

•They are often the first safe space that a survivor sees and the first line of accountability to our criminal justice system.

•Including Domestic Violence data specifically in their annual report clearly shows Fargo Police Department’s commitment to protecting survivors. (Thank you!!)

Yet one major question remains•••

Why are only 45% of all domestic violence cases in relation to aggravated and simple assault charges, actually convicted as such?

We firmly believe that when our local police departments determine and assess probable cause for domestic violence charges, as a state and county; we need to then carry the torch to prosecute them as such.

Let’s not re-victimize someone who was saved by our incredible police force by allowing abusers to be convicted as if they got in a bar fight with a stranger.

#theworkbegins

We are extremely grateful for the unwavering support that local police departments have in response to domestic violence in the F/M area.

•They are often the first safe space that a survivor sees and the first line of accountability to our criminal justice system.

•Including Domestic Violence data specifically in their annual report clearly shows Fargo Police Department’s commitment to protecting survivors. (Thank you!!)

Yet one major question remains•••

Why are only 45% of all domestic violence cases in relation to aggravated and simple assault charges, actually convicted as such?

We firmly believe that when our local police departments determine and assess probable cause for domestic violence charges, as a state and county; we need to then carry the torch to prosecute them as such.

Let’s not re-victimize someone who was saved by our incredible police force by allowing abusers to be convicted as if they got in a bar fight with a stranger.

#theworkbegins

Did someone say exciting things headed to Styled with Strength?!

Please welcome Brittany as our Volunteer and Special Events Coordinator! Brittany is a busy Mama to 3, recently graduated in Early Childhood Education and also is a full-time Childcare Center Director. We couldn’t be more excited for Brittany to bring her gifts of loving and helping others to discover their passions and create their unique corner of the SWS community!

Have you been looking to getting involved in serving the incredible women & kids who call SWS home? There is a place for you and we would love for you to join us!

🅦🅔🅛🅒🅞🅜🅔 🅑🅡🅘🅣🅣🅐🅝🅨!

Did someone say exciting things headed to Styled with Strength?!

Please welcome Brittany as our Volunteer and Special Events Coordinator! Brittany is a busy Mama to 3, recently graduated in Early Childhood Education and also is a full-time Childcare Center Director. We couldn’t be more excited for Brittany to bring her gifts of loving and helping others to discover their passions and create their unique corner of the SWS community!

Have you been looking to getting involved in serving the incredible women & kids who call SWS home? There is a place for you and we would love for you to join us!

🅦🅔🅛🅒🅞🅜🅔 🅑🅡🅘🅣🅣🅐🅝🅨!

whether it’s a whisper over a glass of wine in a crowded restaurant, or the boom of a microphone at center stage, living and standing in your truth as a survivor of abuse is so vital to the work of helping her feel strong enough to eventually accept hers ♥️

whether it’s a whisper over a glass of wine in a crowded restaurant, or the boom of a microphone at center stage, living and standing in your truth as a survivor of abuse is so vital to the work of helping her feel strong enough to eventually accept hers ♥️

On this day 🅕🅘🅥🅔 years ago, the very first Styled with Strength event took place!

A professional wardrobing shopping day at the YWCA Cass Clay emergency shelter. Women from across the country sent high end professional clothing and opened a door for a woman who may have entered with nothing leave confident, seen, and valued.

It sure seems wild to think about the small seed that eventually launched an incredible community of local businesses, organizations, and survivors all coming together for one purpose, united in the belief that every woman in the Fargo/Moorhead Community should feel safe in her own home.

On this day 🅕🅘🅥🅔 years ago, the very first Styled with Strength event took place!

A professional wardrobing shopping day at the YWCA Cass Clay emergency shelter. Women from across the country sent high end professional clothing and opened a door for a woman who may have entered with nothing leave confident, seen, and valued.

It sure seems wild to think about the small seed that eventually launched an incredible community of local businesses, organizations, and survivors all coming together for one purpose, united in the belief that every woman in the Fargo/Moorhead Community should feel safe in her own home.

“Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9

We are heartbroken to learn of the deaths of Burnsville, MN Police Officers: Paul Elmstrand and Matthew Ruge along with Burnsville Firefighter & Paramedic Adam Finseth as a result of a response to a Domestic Violence call in the early hours Sunday morning. First responders are continually the safe haven for a woman escaping violence, the cycle breakers, and those unafraid to step in on behalf of safety.

We mourn their loss and commit to continue our mission of raising awareness, advocating for stronger sentencing, better intervention programming for abusers, and a hell of a lot more resources for women to seek safety sooner.

Important Notes about this Terrible Loss:

•It happened in a single family home, in a middle class suburban neighborhood

•1 Woman and 7 Children ages 2-15 were inside the home at the time

•There was not a significant history of Domestic Violence service calls to the home previously

•The abuser died by suicide after taking the lives of heroes and forever altering the lives of his own family.

We are heartbroken, shocked, and praying for all who are hurting from this act of violence.

She should have been safe here.

But also,
They should have been safe here too.

“Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9

We are heartbroken to learn of the deaths of Burnsville, MN Police Officers: Paul Elmstrand and Matthew Ruge along with Burnsville Firefighter & Paramedic Adam Finseth as a result of a response to a Domestic Violence call in the early hours Sunday morning. First responders are continually the safe haven for a woman escaping violence, the cycle breakers, and those unafraid to step in on behalf of safety.

We mourn their loss and commit to continue our mission of raising awareness, advocating for stronger sentencing, better intervention programming for abusers, and a hell of a lot more resources for women to seek safety sooner.

Important Notes about this Terrible Loss:

•It happened in a single family home, in a middle class suburban neighborhood

•1 Woman and 7 Children ages 2-15 were inside the home at the time

•There was not a significant history of Domestic Violence service calls to the home previously

•The abuser died by suicide after taking the lives of heroes and forever altering the lives of his own family.

We are heartbroken, shocked, and praying for all who are hurting from this act of violence.

She should have been safe here.

But also,
They should have been safe here too.

You, yes…You!
A Friday evening reminder ♥️

You, yes…You!
A Friday evening reminder ♥️

[a long one, but please join us•••]

It is so important for the children (especially boys) in our SWS Family to see positive examples of healthy behaviors and meaningful care from men within the Fargo/Moorhead Community.

We would love to invite you to join us in our She’s Safe Here Today Project throughout the month of February.

Once a woman reaches safety for herself & her children there is often a large workload that still remains. That’s where we come in. Due to the family not being safe, they have relocated (and are thriving!) However, the home where the violence took place remains. We would love to honor & come alongside this survivor by handling the repairs, painting, and cleaning in order to have the home ready to sell by March 1.

Tasks Include:
•Wall Patching & Repair
•Re-Installing the Crown Molding
•Painting and Cleaning

This project is open to truly anyone with a skillset that can help (especially those that are handy for the repairs!)

If you’d like to serve alongside us with your family, your friends, your church, your work group or any group of people that may be able to stand with us in this gap, we would be honored. If you are not able to volunteer but would like to donate towards supplies, paint, trim for this project please send us a note!

This project seems scary and far out of our comfort zone and skill set, but we know that is precisely where we need to be.

Thank you for joining us in the unwavering belief that women and children should always feel safe right at home ♥️

#shessafeheretoday

[a long one, but please join us•••]

It is so important for the children (especially boys) in our SWS Family to see positive examples of healthy behaviors and meaningful care from men within the Fargo/Moorhead Community.

We would love to invite you to join us in our She’s Safe Here Today Project throughout the month of February.

Once a woman reaches safety for herself & her children there is often a large workload that still remains. That’s where we come in. Due to the family not being safe, they have relocated (and are thriving!) However, the home where the violence took place remains. We would love to honor & come alongside this survivor by handling the repairs, painting, and cleaning in order to have the home ready to sell by March 1.

Tasks Include:
•Wall Patching & Repair
•Re-Installing the Crown Molding
•Painting and Cleaning

This project is open to truly anyone with a skillset that can help (especially those that are handy for the repairs!)

If you’d like to serve alongside us with your family, your friends, your church, your work group or any group of people that may be able to stand with us in this gap, we would be honored. If you are not able to volunteer but would like to donate towards supplies, paint, trim for this project please send us a note!

This project seems scary and far out of our comfort zone and skill set, but we know that is precisely where we need to be.

Thank you for joining us in the unwavering belief that women and children should always feel safe right at home ♥️

#shessafeheretoday

But what do you mean it’s a shop?
••• and how could that make a difference for someone experiencing domestic violence?

Because it is just a shop.
A shop of cute things and fun books
{and quirky real people cards}
A shop where you can find a “Don’t be a Dick” Longsleeve and a devotional for anxiety in the same place.

A shop where women choose to support by shopping, knowing that it just might cover a need for the woman down the street that is safety planning to leave.

(In the nice neighborhood)
(In the safe neighborhood)

Just a shop she picks up fun stickers at but a few weeks later, she comes back and shares her story and begins to plan for safety.

Just a shop where women of power and influence in the community serve and care for the unseen in an honoring place.

This space continues to surprise me for doors that it opens and the hearts it connects.

So yes, it’s just a shop. #shessafehere

A shop that hopes to change just one woman’s life ♥️

But what do you mean it’s a shop?
••• and how could that make a difference for someone experiencing domestic violence?

Because it is just a shop.
A shop of cute things and fun books
{and quirky real people cards}
A shop where you can find a “Don’t be a Dick” Longsleeve and a devotional for anxiety in the same place.

A shop where women choose to support by shopping, knowing that it just might cover a need for the woman down the street that is safety planning to leave.

(In the nice neighborhood)
(In the safe neighborhood)

Just a shop she picks up fun stickers at but a few weeks later, she comes back and shares her story and begins to plan for safety.

Just a shop where women of power and influence in the community serve and care for the unseen in an honoring place.

This space continues to surprise me for doors that it opens and the hearts it connects.

So yes, it’s just a shop. #shessafehere

A shop that hopes to change just one woman’s life ♥️

Even after a woman has left her abuser, the control and manipulation can still continue within the parenting dynamic, and sometimes is still almost daily.

At Christmas this abuse of power can look like:
•Going above and beyond buying excessive gifts to be the “fun” parent while continuing to control and withhold family finances from the mother.

We are SO thankful for the incredible staff (and customers!) at Brewtus’ Brickhouse-West Fargo for stepping in and purchasing Christmas gifts for our SWS kids this year and for helping us restore honor and empowering mamas that new chapters may be scary, but the love and community remains ♥️

#shessafehere

Even after a woman has left her abuser, the control and manipulation can still continue within the parenting dynamic, and sometimes is still almost daily.

At Christmas this abuse of power can look like:
•Going above and beyond buying excessive gifts to be the “fun” parent while continuing to control and withhold family finances from the mother.

We are SO thankful for the incredible staff (and customers!) at Brewtus’ Brickhouse-West Fargo for stepping in and purchasing Christmas gifts for our SWS kids this year and for helping us restore honor and empowering mamas that new chapters may be scary, but the love and community remains ♥️

#shessafehere

We are so thankful for the @undcheerteam! Lauren and Jodi shared their survivor stories while also chatting about establishing healthy relationship boundaries, how to best support a friend who may be experiencing Domestic Violence, and warning signs of abusive behavior.

If you are interested in having our education team connect with your organization please email us ohhello@styledwithstrength.org, we believe in creating She’s Safe Here Cultures and look forward to you joining us!

#shessafehere #styledwithstrength

We are so thankful for the @undcheerteam! Lauren and Jodi shared their survivor stories while also chatting about establishing healthy relationship boundaries, how to best support a friend who may be experiencing Domestic Violence, and warning signs of abusive behavior.

If you are interested in having our education team connect with your organization please email us ohhello@styledwithstrength.org, we believe in creating She’s Safe Here Cultures and look forward to you joining us!

#shessafehere #styledwithstrength

Would you believe us if we told you that simply escaping the violent abuser is only the first step of a very long roadmap to rebuilding freedom?

What would it look like if a sister came alongside you:
•listened on the days that seemed impossible •challenged you on the days you say it might have been easier to stay
•demonstrated to you what a true community of healing and survivorship looked like?

It would look like hope and an incredible army of fierce women who are determined to not only survive abusive relationships but thrive and change the futures of our families and of our community 🖤

#shessafehere #styledwithstrength

Would you believe us if we told you that simply escaping the violent abuser is only the first step of a very long roadmap to rebuilding freedom?

What would it look like if a sister came alongside you:
•listened on the days that seemed impossible •challenged you on the days you say it might have been easier to stay
•demonstrated to you what a true community of healing and survivorship looked like?

It would look like hope and an incredible army of fierce women who are determined to not only survive abusive relationships but thrive and change the futures of our families and of our community 🖤

#shessafehere #styledwithstrength

A survivor’s road to wholeness is long and always winding. As the emotional manipulation of the abuser teaches them that: chaos is excitement, physical and verbal reactions are because of love, and that disruption means passion…

Choosing healthy relationships as a survivor requires community, continued evaluation of perspectives, and unlearning all that the abuser told you was “normal”

The SWS Community is honored to walk that road alongside you ♥️

A survivor’s road to wholeness is long and always winding. As the emotional manipulation of the abuser teaches them that: chaos is excitement, physical and verbal reactions are because of love, and that disruption means passion…

Choosing healthy relationships as a survivor requires community, continued evaluation of perspectives, and unlearning all that the abuser told you was “normal”

The SWS Community is honored to walk that road alongside you ♥️

While we know it’s 2024 🎉 we are still reflecting and celebrating the incredible friendships we gained in 2•0•2•3

When @the_vanity_bar reached out about supporting SWS for their Merry Member Event, did we fan girl a bit? 💯 ☺️

Through the support of the stunning custom charcuterie boards from @hrtlnddesigns and the generous clients who purchased them- they not only made an impactful donation, but also spread the mission and awareness of women locally that may be experiencing abuse.

Our model of community-based care, collaboration, and survivor advocacy doesn’t happen without authentic and kick-ass women stepping and running alongside us. Katie and Mandy we are forever grateful and honored that you’ve joined us. 👯‍♀️

Helping women reach safety is needed in all neighborhoods, all income levels, and often happens where you’d least expect. This event was an inspiring reminder to see a room full of the fiercest women in Fargo/Moorhead celebrating the holiday, while advocating for safety at the same time 🖤

#shebelongs #sheshouldbesafehere #styledwithstrength

While we know it’s 2024 🎉 we are still reflecting and celebrating the incredible friendships we gained in 2•0•2•3

When @the_vanity_bar reached out about supporting SWS for their Merry Member Event, did we fan girl a bit? 💯 ☺️

Through the support of the stunning custom charcuterie boards from @hrtlnddesigns and the generous clients who purchased them- they not only made an impactful donation, but also spread the mission and awareness of women locally that may be experiencing abuse.

Our model of community-based care, collaboration, and survivor advocacy doesn’t happen without authentic and kick-ass women stepping and running alongside us. Katie and Mandy we are forever grateful and honored that you’ve joined us. 👯‍♀️

Helping women reach safety is needed in all neighborhoods, all income levels, and often happens where you’d least expect. This event was an inspiring reminder to see a room full of the fiercest women in Fargo/Moorhead celebrating the holiday, while advocating for safety at the same time 🖤

#shebelongs #sheshouldbesafehere #styledwithstrength

even if you’ve said it, remind them again 💜

even if you’ve said it, remind them again 💜

The majority of those experiencing abuse do not come forward as their abuser has been strategic in painting the disruptive behavior to be rooted on the victim.

When someone in your family or circle is sharing about “their crazy ex” or a problematic behavior of a woman you know, dig deeper.

There is always more to the story.

#domesticviolence #domesticviolenceawareness #domesticabuse #survivor #dvsurvivor #breakthecycle #shiningalight #quoteoftheday #healing

The majority of those experiencing abuse do not come forward as their abuser has been strategic in painting the disruptive behavior to be rooted on the victim.

When someone in your family or circle is sharing about “their crazy ex” or a problematic behavior of a woman you know, dig deeper.

There is always more to the story.

#domesticviolence #domesticviolenceawareness #domesticabuse #survivor #dvsurvivor #breakthecycle #shiningalight #quoteoftheday #healing

Never underestimate the strength it took 🤍

Never underestimate the strength it took 🤍